It's time to get real

People .... another month has gone by ... and I'm stuck in that same 3 pound window.  UGH!!! Okay, to be fair ... I HAVE lost 5 inches over all since I started Insanity.  And I know inches are what really matter ... But STILL!!! It's been 5 months since I've really been below this 3 pound window (214-217). Up and down up and down.  The last time I got lower than this was doing the Ultimate Reset in October.  Since then it's been right inside this window, except for a couple of weeks when I got back up over 220.  Now ... if I was down to say 155 or 160 and I just couldn't get my body under that ... I would be totally fine.  I would just chalk it up to "maybe this is just how much my body needs to weigh." But I know 215 can't be my final weight loss point.  It just can't.  Ask any doctor, they will tell you I am still obese.

So ... now what? I have religiously kept my calories to 1400-1600, I eat the healthiest version of everything I can, and I sincerely ask myself before I eat "what is it my body NEEDS to eat" and almost never indulge in any kind of sweets.  I drink 4-5 liters of water every day.  I'm seriously asking ... what else is there? What am I doing wrong?? Anyone who has lost more than 60 pounds ... did the weight just keep coming off or did you hit a plateau? What did you do to break it??

Today I am posting pictures of one of my first Fit Clubs ever and one from today, because I can see a real difference ... and I need to be reminded that it's a journey, and I still wouldn't go back and change a thing.

Exercise is on my mind

Next soap box topic ... hmmmm, it's possible I have way too many soap boxes.  Oh well ... anyway...

Exercise.  It's been on my mind lately.  I've talked about my personal journey from hating "I HAVE to work out every day" to NEEDING my daily dose of endorphins.  But that's not today's topic ... the thing I keep thinking about is "exercising to lose weight. " A lot of people exercise to lose weight.  And exercise IS an important part of any weight loss journey for many reasons.  It helps you get more energy, build muscles, and muscles burn more calories at rest than fat does, and one of my favorite side effects ... you get a lot more self confidence.  Even if you aren't the skinny girl at the gym, you're the fat girl on a bike ... you feel better about yourself.  You feel embowered.  THAT is why I exercise.  For that feeling of empowerment.  And to be healthy.  I exercise to be healthy.

Losing weight really is all about the nutrition ... which is obviously something I'm still struggling to find a balance for.  But the exercise, that I can do.  Every day.  And I love it.  I won't miss it.  It takes me about an hour and a half to get dressed, exercise, shower and get dressed again for the day.  An hour and a half out of the day that I focus on myself. And it's worth every minute.  Even ask my kids.  We have a lot more fun together now, even with that extra hour and a half of "not focusing on my kids."

So it begs the question: What kind of exercise is the best kind of exercise? or What do I do if I hate exercising? And it's the same answer ... from one of my favorite books "Push" by Chalene Johnson (I highly recommend it) "the best kind of exercise is the kind that you'll do." So it isn't about Insanity VS Running a Marathon ... we're all on the same team.  If the gym is the one place you know you'll exercise, go to the gym.  If running is your thing, run.  At least to start out, you have to find something you don't mind doing so much, until you love it.  Then once you LOVE exercise just for exercising, you can experiment and see if there are actually other things out there for you to love.  I always thought I had to run to exercise and get in shape.  Turns out there were a LOT more options.  I was able to force myself to exercise every day at first because I LOVE P90X.  I didn't know I could love anything that much.  Soccer was always my love.  But it was just too hard with being a single mom 80% of the time to be able to play a team sport out of the house.  Now I've found something I can do from home, still spend the majority of my time with my kids, I don't have to pay for a babysitter ... and I'm a LOT more healthy and my self confidence is soaring. FIND YOUR SOUL MATE WORKOUT!!!!! I only wish I would have found it 10 years ago ... don't wait any longer, go out and find it!

It's on my mind too much

I read an article posted by a friend of mine the other day ... and I've been thinking about it ever since.  The things I've thought about, as I've contemplated what it is about the article that has pricked me over and over, well, they are worth sharing.  I highly recommend reading the article first, because the rest of this will only really make sense if you do :)

Here's the thing ... I actually agree with at least 85% of everything the author says.  I enjoyed it.  Being a mom is a BUSY job and it really doesn't leave me with a lot of time for myself every day.  In fact, if I didn't wake up early to get my workout in before my kids woke up, it would most likely never get done.  So why did this article stir me up??  Here is what I came up with...

I completely and totally agree that the "world's" version of beauty and thinness and happiness all being mixed up together is completely MESSED UP.  I have so many many BEAUTIFUL girl friends of all different shapes and sizes.  They are all beautiful BECAUSE they look different.  It's like the saying in the Disney Movie the Incredibles: If everyone [had small noses] no one would.  Feel free to insert any phrase into those brackets: big eyes, small waists, thin hips, big boobs ... whatever it is about yourself that you wish you could change.  We are ALL beautiful ladies!  Period.  Start focusing on the things you DO like about yourself and stop obsessing about the things you wish you could change ... be happy with who you are.

Where I run into trouble is trying to reconcile this strong strong strong belief I have that women need to start creating their own positive body image and STOP comparing themselves to other women ... with the fact that I'm now changing so much about my life and my body and ... I really am happier.

I get it now though ... ready for this ... I'm not happier because of the way I look ... if that were true, I wouldn't be happy at all because, honestly, how many of you ladies could say you would be ecstatic to weigh 214 pounds??? Right??? (Only those of us who have been bigger ... perspective :)) But I still have so far to go to reach my "healthy body weight" ... that it CAN'T be that.

I'm happier because I am already living a HEALTHY LIFE STYLE.  I eat well, fuel my body, and give myself a boost of energy every single day with exercise.  Exercise gives people endorphins ... endorphins make people happy ... and happy people don't hate themselves.  They just don't.

But to get back to the article ... I love that this man loves his wife just for who she is.  I am SO thankful I have a man like that in my life.  The only thing I would say is this: don't let your kids be your EXCUSE for not living a healthy lifestyle.  There are a lot of excuses out there. You really will have More energy and More happiness and More self-confidence to share with your kids if you take the hour or so a day to make yourself more healthy ... and THAT will make you a Better Mom.

The End.

Grrrrrrrr.

I've gained 3 pounds since my husband came back.  Blast.  And we've been BUSY! And I know weight is just a number, but still ... it's frustrating. It has to be my nutrition ... and I have a new theory ... I don't think it is because my husband likes some unhealthy food every now and then so I don't have the will power to resist when he eats it ... I think it's because I stop working towards a specific GOAL once he is back! When he's gone I think to myself all the time "I have to work harder today, I need to look good by the time he gets back." Or "I can't eat that right now, I have to look good when he comes home." You know?? So, I'm going to try something absolutely revolutionary ... I'm going to set some goals while he is still home.  I know, crazy right? And, since you all know everything about me anyway, I'm going to share my goals with you, to keep me accountable: 8 weeks from now I want to weigh less than 200 pounds.  16 pounds ... it's a high amount, but totally do-able.  I will check in every week to keep you posted on how it is going.  GULP!!! Here we go ...

Confession: Mom Guilt

Confession: I have been feeling guilty for years about what kind of a mom I am.  Mom's out there ... you know what I mean: Mom Guilt.  It's as common as the common cold.  We compare ourselves to the other moms in the world and always find something lacking. The thing that's been bugging me lately are all my friends who are super awesome "Crafty Moms." You know, the kind that cut out paper hearts with their kids for Valentines Day and have an amazing bonding moment.  Or the moms who melt left over crayons into awesome new Super Crayons then spend the afternoon creating things.  Pinterest is full of ideas for the crafty mom to help her become the Wonder Woman of Moms.

But I am NOT a crafty mom.  I've beat myself up over this for quite some time now.  I was worried that I never enjoyed spending quality time with my kids.  Obviously I was an inferior mom.

This weekend I had an incredible awakening.  I am NOT a crafty mom, and let's face it, I never will be.  It just isn't my thing.  It isn't something I enjoy at all, so why would I enjoy doing it with my kids??? I WOULDN'T.  I'm also not a baking mom.  Making cookies with my kids completely stresses me out.  I'm definitely not a gardening mom, I kill anything that is green.

BUT ... I can totally be a sporty mom!!! I LOVE playing sports with my kids!!! Basketball, soccer, frisbee, freeze tag ... I. LOVE. IT.  It's something I enjoy doing, and so do my kids.  We've found our "thing."  I can't even describe to you how happy this makes me.  I wish there were words for it.  I love listening to them laugh and play together.  I love being outside with them and listening to them encourage each other.  I have to admit though ... it scares me that I might never have had the chance to be Sporty Mom.  What if I hadn't found a way to get more healthy?  What if I hadn't found the energy I need to be Sporty Mom?? Once again ... I am thankful Beach Body changed my life ...

Sporty Mom.  It has a nice ring to it. :)