Confession: There is a monster living inside me

Seriously.  A Monster.  A Sugar Monster.  I've got him kind of subdued most of the time, but every once in a while I eat something extremely delicious and sugary ... and it awakens the Monster.  Suddenly I'm craving sugar like you wouldn't believe.  Brownies, cookies, candy, ice cream ... and it's pretty much impossible to calm the Monster, impossible to satisfy him.  Actually, the only thing I have found that works is ... a detox.  I cut out EVERYTHING.  When I spend 3-4 days at 1200 calories with only Shakeology and salad, veggies and chicken or fish to eat ... the Monster gets silenced and I can go back to normal eating.  The Monster was awakened this weekend ... it's detox time.  Wish me luck :)

YUM!

Lesson Learned: Crap, it really is up to me

When I used to hear people say "Happiness is a Choice" ... I would mumble it back to myself in the snarkiest voice possible, "Mmappinessss niz a choisss, blah!" you know, like a child.  "It's a load of bull to say I can decide if I want to be happy when life gives you some crazy Shiz to deal with and I'm just not going to be happy all the time."  Am I right or am I right???

Yeah, I'm right ... I'm not happy ALL the time.

But what I didn't get was ... I can still be happy. If I choose to be.

"Um, that's exactly what they said ..."

Yeah, it is.  I just didn't understand it.  Now I do.  I still have days when I'm screaming mad.  I still get angry with my kids.  I still get upset when things don't go the way I want them too.  But then I get over it, and I'm happy.  I can even be happy for OTHER people's happiness.  That's sort of the secret.  To get to a place in your life where you can "change the things you don't like, and accept the things you can't change." Then suddenly you aren't mad at everyone else for having what you don't have.  Does that make sense?? It will ... when you are truly happy.

There is no "secret formula" for happiness.  But I can tell you what worked for me.

Before, when I would try to start exercising and get healthy, about a week or two into it I would think to myself "I can NOT do THIS for the rest of my life.  If this is what it takes to be healthy then it isn't worth it."  And I was right, if it would always be as hard as it is right at first, there is no way you could maintain that indefinitely.  What I didn't know was ... it gets easier ... or better said ... you get stronger.  Each new change you make is TOUGH.  And it stays tough until you get stronger.  I wish there would have been someone to tell me not to give up, because the strength to go on was just a few more weeks away.  So I'm going to share it with you:

Don't give up.  The strength to go on is just a few more weeks away.  I promise.

And then, one day when you are strong enough and you suddenly realize you've changed your whole life around ... you'll be happy.  Because you choose to be.

Exercise gives you endorphins, endorphins make you happy.  For reals.

Success: THIS is progress

So this is a little weird to explain, stick with me for a minute. So yesterday I ha a tiny cyst taken off my neck. No big deal, just an hour with local anesthetic. But there ended up being a LOT of stitches. Still, not a big deal, except I can't get them wet at all for two days. Which means ... No workout for me today. And here is where the success comes in. I was REALLY disappointed about not being able to do Insanity today. Like totally bummed!! As soon as I realized how bummed I was ... I started to get excited. A year ago I would have been excited for the legitimate excuse not to HAVE to workout. Man, that's some serious progress. Right??? Happy dance for myself today. Happy happy happy :)

Success: To become an object in Motion

 Someone posed an awesome question in one of my Challenge Groups today ... it's awesome enough to share and discuss: What finally changes in someone that keeps them exercising and eating well?? I'm totally bugged with myself. Am I afraid of something??

I don't have all the answers, I still haven't figured everything out yet ... but I know that something HAS changed in me ... and it made me think back and figure out what it was that finally made me change.  And I found the answer: Consistency.  Consistency and a LOT of will power.

So it turns out will power is just another muscle.  You have to use it or lose it.  A physics lesson comes to mind: Objects in motion, stay in motion. Objects at rest, stay at rest.  To become an object in motion that was once at rest, you HAVE TO EXPEND THE ENERGY. Period.  And if you have been at rest for a lot of years, you aren't going to jump right into a new routine and love it.  You can't just make yourself suddenly be in motion.  You push and push and push and push and push.  You fight your old self.  You make decision after decision after decision to stay and fight.  Sure sometimes you slip, but you just pick yourself back up and keep pushing again.  And again.  And again.  And then one day ... you're in motion.  And it gets easier.  And you still push, but now you're stronger and pushing is easier.  

My bestest most importantest advice ... Only fight one battle at a time.  Pick one thing and make it better.  Then when that is easy, pick another.  Then another.  So one little habit at a time you change your whole world.  What battle are you picking today? 

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Fight to be in motion

Success: Goodbye Plateau

It's been too long since I posted in my blog. I've been busy. Also ... It turns out eating really low calories bums me out and gives me very little energy :)

But ... Drum roll please ... Badadadadadada ...

I'm loosing weight again. 4 days of 1200 calories on a Shakeology cleanse and I started dropping too fast. I moved back up to fluctuating between 1400-1600, just to keep my body guessing. And it's working. I lost 8 pounds in two weeks. And now I've settled back into a comfortable 2-3 pounds per week. It's tough to stay disciplined in eating. 1500 calories adds up fast, even eating healthy. But I feel like I've hit a comfortable level, something I can maintain over time, with an occasional indulge day just to keep my body guessing. Plus, I started a new workout and I'm ready to build some more muscle!

But first ... I'm going to relax by the pool in Waikiki. Priorities you know? :)