I'm not going to lie though ... I cried. This time they were tears of discouragement. There is no simple solution to my struggles. The first thing I thought was "I want to eat an entire pan of brownies, because what difference will it make anyway?" But I'm not going to. Brownies aren't a solution to the problem either.
So. New game plan ... the nurse who called said she has also struggled with all the same things. She said she finally read the book "Eat Right For Your Type" and it was the thing that finally worked for her. The good news is ... I already have the book. I'm going to try that first. I'll keep you posted.Will you all do something for me?? This is all I want from this journey that I am on ... I want you to stop looking at people who are overweight and thinking to yourself the words "lazy, fat, gross, unhappy, ugly, disgusting, or sad" and stop yourself entirely from thinking "if they just had some will power they could change the way they look." Stop it. Especially if you are thinking those things about yourself. Stop it now. I know for a fact that I am literally working twice as hard as I should need to ... and I still don't have the slim, fit body that I want. Life is unfair. But it isn't going to stop me from trying. And while I'm working through this I'm going to continue focusing on changing the way I look at myself. I am beautiful. I am healthy. I am Freaking Strong. And the rest will just have to work itself out.
You are awesome!!!!
ReplyDeleteThank you for your updates. I have similar struggles. I have weighed over 200 pounds for about 12 years. I work out (hard!) almost every day, and I'm so careful about what I eat. I've had friends who are half my weight say I'm more in shape than they are. I've had similar blood tests done, with similar results. My doctor keeps telling me to keep doing what I'm doing - that I'm her healthiest & fittest overweight patient! :) I just wanted you to know that you're not alone.
ReplyDeleteYes!!! That is exactly how I feel!! Like the fittest over-weight person!!!! It is so good to know it isn't just me!! Thank you for sharing. Keep me posted on if you find anything that works for you!!!!!!
DeleteI just went to the Dr yesterday to get the results of my blood work and had exactly the same results. Thyroid = good; cholesterol = good; sugars = good. I told the Dr, "well, I guess I should be very thankful for a clean bill of health." Too bad it's not helping my waistline! However, I felt that knowing nothing that nothing wrong with my body was holding me back, made me feel better. Did you discuss with the Dr the notion of eating too little? Just curious.
ReplyDeleteWe didn't talk about eating too little, but I have definitely made some adjustments there. I am working on finding a good average that will keep me at least steady with weight while I figure out what else could be going wrong! Let me know if you figure anything out as well!!
DeleteYou rock. You're beautiful. That is all.
ReplyDeleteMy lab work always comes back normal too and I have felt that same frustration! I have complete confidence that you will find what you need to move forward. I are beautiful and you are strong and you can do this!
ReplyDeleteI'm there with you! And yes, I too have a very dusty Eat Right for Your Body Type on my bookshelf. Guess I should pull it out and join your journey. Thanks for sharing it with us. I really struggle with trying to be content (positive, accepting, grateful, real, ect.) with wanting to be my best self. Is this really my best, most authentic self? And if so, can I accept that. It is a hard balance to find.
ReplyDeleteSo frustrating! I've struggled with the same feelings and discouragement. I certainly don't always feel like I have the body that I think I deserve for the amount of time I spend working for it... but I've learned that nothing helps me with the discouragement more than working out! Whether I ever have a six pack or not, I definitely feel happier with a regular exercise routine. I've learned to appreciate the other benefits besides the way I look. Keep with it! (I know you will) You really are amazing!
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