Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Why I love what I do ...

For those of you who don't know ... I'm a Beach Body Coach.  I LOVE my job.  I love being able to help people find a way to live a healthier life no matter where they are right now.  But something else I love about being a Beach Body Coach ... is the people I have met who are just as passionate about what they do as I am.  Meet Carson Carothers.  He is a fellow Beach Body Coach.  And he and his wife are truly amazing.  If his story can help you or someone you know, please like his coach page and reach out to him.  He is just as passionate about helping people as I am.  The people he can help are different than the people I can help, and that is why I am sharing his story ... It takes a lot of courage to admit that your life isn't perfect.  But by doing so, you have the capacity to help so many others.  Thank you Carson, for being Courageous.

How I overcame depression, bipolar and alcoholism.

I’ve never shared my full story besides with a few close friends and family. 

Two years ago I literally hit my rock bottom! I was trapped in an alcoholic’s body and at the end of my rope. I had been abusing alcohol for probably 10 years. Nothing could satisfy whatever it was that I was running from. I drank every day; I was lying to my wife and family and had no control over myself. I was so far gone in my own misery and self doubt that I lost sight of everything important to me.

There was a point when I caught myself in the mirror one night (of course I was drunk) and I just stared at this total stranger in front of me. I literally could not recognize who was looking back at me. It’s hard to explain but it was a moment that I will never forget.

I knew that if I stayed on the path I was on I would lose everything. My wonderful wife was hurt, confused, and sad and had no idea how to help me or us. I was rarely available to my family. Physically I was there but emotionally I was not. I was slowly destroying myself but worse than that I was destroying everything my family was, a family.

This was also around the time my beautiful wife was diagnosed with Clark level 3 melanoma cancer and was pregnant with our second child. According to her doctor Clark level 3 is considered internal cancer. Everything seemed to be crumbling around us. She went through surgeries and was in a delicate situation because of the baby. The hospital visits were nonstop and finally the Doctors decided it was best for both her and the baby to induce and deliver early.

I will always hurt deep inside knowing that I was not the husband she needed and deserved during that scary and life altering experience. I had no idea what to do. Life didn’t seem to give me any answers.

To make a LONG story short I finally hit MY ROCK BOTTOM. I told my wife that I was willing to do whatever it took to be the man, husband, father, and friend I knew I could be. I went right away to a psychologist to learn about the disease I had. I needed to know my enemy inside and out if I was to win.

The doctors finally came to the conclusion that I was suffering from manic depression and a form of bipolar. I wasn’t surprised since the illness was something that I was very familiar with because it was so prevalent in my own house hold with many family members.

I grew up in a home seeing firsthand the devastation drugs and alcohol can do to a life. I saw suicide attempts in my own house, at young age I had already gone to family interventions and saw those close to me in and out of mental hospitals and group homes.

I remember when I was a sophomore in high school after a parent was hospitalized for another suicide attempt. I found 4 shoe boxes in a closet with mine and my brother’s names on them. Each had a letter for us and personal belongings explaining why they were being left behind for us each. I remember sinking to the floor totally overcome with emotions that I hope never visit me again.

I was now faced with two choices. Keep going down a familiar road I saw growing up that would lead to devastation, death and lifelong consequences for those closest to me. Or I could CHANGE and stop feeling sorry for myself. Stop making excuses. To believe I was good enough. To believe I deserved to be happy and to change my own family tree for the better.

I told my Doctors that I did not care what I am labeled or what I am called I just need to stop what I am doing to myself and my family. I got on medications and went cold Turkey May 5th 2011.

I sought help every where I could find it. I stopped lying to myself and others and came clean to family and friends so that I could have accountability and support.
I checked myself into an outpatient rehabilitation program and let nothing stop me from going every night after work. I learned coping tools and was giving ammunition to fight my battles instead of hiding from them. I also learned that no matter how bad I thought I might have it that there are others out there with difficulties much larger than my own. I learned, read and studied on what the best course of action would be for me to stay clean and healthy for the rest of my life. I had to find something to replace self medicating with alcohol.

I feel that once I started to truly give my best and do my part GOD placed in front of me something that would help me be the best I could be and to battle the life long war I will always be in.

My wife bought Insanity and Shakeology for both of us and we followed the program, drank Shakeology and lived the meal planner exactly how it was laid out for us.

Instead of feeding myself poison every day I started eating the healthiest foods and nutrients I could find. My body literally started responding quickly and positively once I started eating clean and fresh foods every day. I found that regular exercise and health foods controlled my weaknesses to the point I know that I can overcome ANYTHING!

Now over 2 years later I am still sober and clean. I am happier and healthier than I have ever been in my life. I am now involved in the fitness industry part time as a Beachbody coach, helping others find how eating right and exercise can literally change almost every aspect of our lives. I now have big dreams, confidence, and love instead of hate in my heart. I have PASSION, faith and most importantly a wife and children that can say they are proud of me.

However I am not naive to the truth that I will always be an alcoholic. I literally pray every day with gratitude for the help, love, support and tools that keep me strong each and every day.

I have learned that no matter how difficult life can be we can overcome. I believe GOD will never give us a challenge in this life that is impossible for us to beat.

I share my story for one reason only. If I can help one person out there find the courage to get help no matter their ailment or struggle, to realize that nothing is impossible, or to believe in themselves and their abilities to live a life of joy and happiness then sharing this was worth it.

If you feel that my story might help someone out there then please share it. All it takes is clicking “share”. You never know just who it might help -

No comments:

Post a Comment