Success: It's working

So it's working. I checked this morning and I'm down 4 pounds. BUT ... Now what? Is a week too long to stay at such low calories?? Will my body kick into starvation mode? If I add in more calories will all the weight come back on?? I actually need help on this one. What now?? My thinking is to change nothing for 5 days, except add in 300 calories of protein, healthy fats, and veggies. Good idea or bad idea?? Help!

Success: Day 3

This is my tired face. So tired.

This is my third day of keeping my calories at 1200 or right in that range.  I am determined to kick this plateau.  I want to go really low for a week, then I'm going to follow Beach Body's meal planner for a month.  I can feel the determination in me.  I'm going to do it this time.  I'm NOT a quitter.  Ever. Well, okay sometimes, but mostly, I don't like to quit.  Sadly, my kids inherited this same quality from me, stubborn as all get out!! Anyway ... My thoughts over the last few days have progressed something like this: Ugh, this is so unfair... Okay, this isn't so bad, I can do this ... I CAN do this ... I am going to DO this ... Hmmm, it's okay that life is unfair and I have to work so hard to be healthy because I'm learning how strong I really am ... I'm freaking STRONG ... oh man, I'm exhausted ... I think I need more sleep.  And that is where I am at this morning.  Tired.  But ... determined.  I'll keep you posted :)

Confession: It's Plateau Time

Boo for stupid Plateaus. Booooo.

I've hit the proverbial Plateau.  Well, not so much proverbial ... as real. Lame.  I did some research and I've found some things I can try.  The first thing I tried was increasing my calories for a week.  I know it sounds crazy, but what I found out was that all the new muscles my body has can start screaming for more food and start telling your body that it is starving to death.  When that happens Cortisol kicks in and stops your body from losing any fat/weight.  What a stupid hormone!!! Anyway, it didn't work.  I gained THREE pounds last week.  Blast.  So, my next step, time to drop the calories again.  I'm going to try a drastic drop for just one week, down to 1200 calories, then bump it back up to a regular 1500.  If that doesn't help over the next two weeks, I'm also going to change up my workout program and try and push even harder.  Which I will do either way because it's time for a change :)  I will keep you all posted.  I'm ready to start progressing again.  I'm tired of the same numbers over and over.

Confession: This still bites

It's been a rough week, I'm not gonna lie.  I went to the doctor yesterday just to get a referral for an eye disease I have had for the last 8 years (long boring story).  I was so excited to go and have them notice how much weight I have lost.  And I was curious to see how my blood pressure was doing.  It's been in the 138/85 range since I was in college.  I just knew it was finally going to be at healthy levels. I have so many friends doing Beach Body programs that have gone off high blood pressure meds, cholesterol meds, stomach meds, anti-depressants ... you name it!!

My blood pressure was 143/88.  So they took it again ... 138/83

 So after talking with the doctor about my eye I just asked "I'm a little concerned that my blood pressure is still so high..." She looks at me and says "well you might need to shed a few pounds and start exercising and eating better."

SOAKED in sweat and flaming red face!!!

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" was my first thought.  So I told her "I don't know if you looked at my chart before you came in here ... but I HAVE lost a lot of weight.  And I workout EVERY SINGLE MORNING." She just looked at me ... then said "well, what do you do for exercise??" And I could tell by her voice and her look that she thought I was a big fat liar.  WHAT THE FREAK??? I workout so hard every morning that I'm covered in sweat, and I have had sore muscles somewhere in my body every day for the last 14 months.  14 months!! I have been building muscle for the last 14 month and her answer was ... "maybe you need to lose a little weight and change your diet and exercise."  *sigh*

She told me I need to not eat any sodium so I told her ... "I really don't."  She said "uh, sodium is in lots of things like canned goods and pre-packaged meals." DUH!! I don't eat ANY of those!! I know she didn't believe me.  She told me I could come back in after a couple of months of trying to change my diet and exercise and see if the blood pressure had improved.  Um, If nothing has changed in the last 14 months is 2 months really going to be life changing???

Please someone tell me I'm not the only one who gets treated this way when they see a doctor ... Please?!?

Lesson Learned: Phew

And I'm back.  Phew.  I spent a few hours feeling sorry for myself yesterday.  I mean I really reveled in it!!  I sat down and watched a "feel sorry for myself" chick flick instead of clean the house like I needed to.  Then ... I did some serious soul searching.  I did some more research on how to break a plateau.  And most important, I found my core.  I remembered WHY I am on this journey ... and this is what I came up with.

I love sweat! I do I do!

1) I workout because I WANT to! (Seriously.  I love it.  I didn't always love it, but I powered through until I did and now I need it.)

I mean, awesome right??

2) I wake up so freaking early to workout so I can exercise with my man ... and it's worth it just for that.  Also to have uninterrupted workout time.  I hope that some day our life will be different and we can sleep-in longer and still get to workout together and have uninterrupted workout time, but for now, we do it because it is worth it.

Happy and Ridiculous 

3) I am MORE than what my body looks like.  Yes I sometimes get distracted by how little progress I am making in the looks department, but I am MORE than that.  I am a mother of three incredible children, (who drive me insane, but still, they are mine) I'm the wife of a Marine, (who is almost never home so I enjoy every second we get to be together) I love exercising, hiking, camping, the ocean, friends, family, travel, movies, music, laughing and being ridiculous.

Muscle and a Beach

I'm not ripped, but that is definitely muscle!

4) My ultimate goal is to be more healthy by 35 than I was at 25 ... and health isn't a number on a scale or even how much fat is hanging over my shorts.  It's running and playing and low blood pressure and low cholesterol and healthy blood sugar levels and muscle and happiness.  I have all of those things.

I. Am. Happy.

5) I need to keep my eyes LOCKED FORWARD on my destination of a healthy lifestyle instead of focusing on how many obstacles still stand in my way. (Thank you Chalene Johnson for this one.)

And that's it.  I'm focused.  I found my core.  I'm back.  Phew.

This is who I Am

I found it.  I found my words of wisdom.

This is who I Am

Confession: I hate being on a "Journey"

It's Craptastic. That's what it is.  This "journey" business SUCKS.  When the alarm went off at 5:30 this morning it felt like I had just barley closed my eyes to sleep.  I was exhausted.  I whined to my husband something about "why isn't this getting any easier??" and literally rolled out of bed onto my knees to get dressed in the dark.  And as I sat there I remembered that I only lost 4 pounds last month, (which isn't even all the extra weight I put back on in November and December so I'm still behind) and suddenly I was flaming mad.  And depressed.  And disappointed.  All at the same time.  I work so FREAKING hard every morning.  I carefully measure and count everything I eat.  In fact we are eating so healthy now that my husband is losing TOO MUCH weight.  What the fReaK?? He can't get enough calories from what we are eating to even keep up with his muscle growth.  So that means we have to have more healthy fats and carbohydrates around for him to eat, which means I just have to strengthen my resolve even more because it will have to be around the house again.

 Sure I'm stronger than I was.  So what?? So what if I can lift my 45 pound son up from behind the church pew in back of me ... straight from the floor ... up and over the bench and onto the seat next to me ... with just one are ...???  Yeah I'm freaking strong now.  I can hold one boy on each arm while they do flips and jump around like I'm a jungle gym.  So what?? I hate that I still weight 218 pounds.  I hate that I still have fat rolls hanging over the side of my exercise shorts.  I hate that I still have tons of cellulite.  Actually, I have MORE cellulite than when I started because my muscles are so strong they are pushing all the fat out.  Great.

I don't want this blog to become a giant vent session every time I feel like crap and get discouraged.  But I definitely want everyone to know that it's not all smiles and happiness.  Actually, most of the time, it's Craptastic.

So I feel like I need to add some words of wisdom in here somewhere ... let's see ... yeah, I'll get back to you on that one.

Success: I'm a guest Blogger:)

Hiya Friends.  I did my first Guest Blogger Post over on the Turquoise Piano.  Check out her blog, it's amazing.  And while you're at it, find my post.  It's something new, something I haven't posted on here before.  And ... we love comments.  Us bloggers are all about the comments, so please let me know what you think.  I'm a big girl, I can take it :)