Thursday, April 4, 2013

Excuse me while I rant for a bit ...

Okay ... normally I keep these posts limited to a few thoughts.  But this one idea has been bouncing around in my brain for too many days now, so it needs to come out.  Excuse me while I rant for a bit.

Stepping up on my soapbox:

The other day I was talking with a good friend of mine.  We were talking about life, Beach Body, how difficult it is to find time for myself to get a workout in every day, how tough it is to find, prepare and eat healthful foods all day every day, etc. etc. etc.  It came out that a friend of a friend of a friend (you know, that kind of story) had said something to her best girlfriend like "I have to be very careful of what I eat and how much weight I gain.  My husband told me straight up 'I will have an affair if you get fat.  I deserve to have sex with someone I think is hot' and I totally understand ... because that IS fair, and plus I want him to look hot too ..."

Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa.  Whoa.  Back up just a second ... You DESERVE to have sex with someone you think is hot ...

Wait.  Wait wait wait WAIT!  I sort of don't even know where to start with this statement ... But I'm going to start here ... Sex isn't something you DESERVE ... it's a gift that you GIVE to someone you love more than yourself.  It's loving another person so much that you open yourself to being completely vulnerable to them.  You give them EVERYTHING.  And they give you the same love in return.  It's about trust and commitment.  It's about children and families.  It has everything to do with love and tenderness and caring and LOVE ... Period.

The minute you start thinking you DESERVE something from your spouse you are fighting a losing battle.  I won't even get into how subjective the word "hot" is, or what being attracted to your spouse is really all about, or how much you change as you get older and if you think you deserve to have sex with someone who is hot then you think you deserve to leave your wife for AGING and marry a younger/"hotter" woman every ten years.  I'm calling the "BULL SHIZ!" GROW THE FREAK UP!  Shame on you for being with a man who is so shallow.  Shame on you for being a shallow jerk face.  Shame on all of us for getting to the point where we think sex is something we deserve.  Shame on all of us for allowing marriage to just be about sex.  Shame on us.

And stepping off.  Rant over.  For now.


  1. Amen! You rock! That guy sucks and I feel sad that some people really think its okay to say and act like that! Boo to them and YAYyyyy to everyone who knows what marriage is about.

  2. OY! to the power of 10!! I can't believe someone actually said that.. got away with that? thought that? is still alive and kickin'. I'm pretty sure that if those words ever came out of my husbands mouth he would end up on the couch indefinitely. Holy crap Batman! I'm really sad that her self esteem seems to revolve around her own "hotness" as well. There is so much more to life and marriage... so much more good!