Lesson Learned: I'm the only thing standing between me and the person I want to be.

It turns out it really WAS just me that was the problem all along.  Every time I would try and make the changes I needed to change my life I kept thinking over and over "ugh! this is too hard! I don't want to have to do this for the rest of my life!" And then, when the results weren't immediately gratifying ... I would give up.  It was too much, it was too over-whelming.

Uh ... I just didn't keep at it long enough!!! You have to take it one habit at a time until that habit is truly a part of who you ARE ... then tackle the next challenge.  Then the next.  And the next.  And don't get frustrated by how slow you are progressing.  My average weight loss is only 5 pounds a month.  And I work HARD for those 5 pounds.  But guess what ... 5 pounds every month over an entire year ... well ... math people? Anyone? ... Yeah ... it's 60 pounds a year.  Um, that's a LOT.

So now give me your excuses for why you aren't starting now, Today ... I've heard them all.  I've SAID them all.  Here we go:

I don't have time to workout every day ... uh, yeah you do.  It's only an hour.  You just have to schedule it and make it happen.

Eating healthy costs too much money ... yeah, and so does McDonalds and Pizza Hut.  But somehow we always find the money for that.  And soda.  And a few treats.  And maybe some ice cream.  It's just a matter of budgeting it in, and making it a priority.  Eat healthy.  For the same amount of money it costs to order your family pizza twice a month you could buy a daily amount of Shakeology that gives you an insane amount of nutrition and helps keep all the junk food cravings away.

I am too out of shape, it's embarrassing ... Um, HELLO ... 299 pounds!! Been there.  You have to start somewhere.

I have too many pains in my body ... yep ... modify and start slow.  Find the right workout and build on it.  Easy. Next.

I hate working out ... so did I.

I hate 5 am ... so did I.

I'm too old ... well, I was 34, not old but definitely not young.

See that smile, see the sweat  ... it could be you.  

I love food ... so DO I.

It's too hard ... yeah, it is.  But it gets easier.

Go ... give me your excuses ... I'm ready for you ... Trust me.  Just start today.  Decide TODAY that you are sick of being overweight, tired, sore, depressed, angry, frustrated, whatever ... If you need help email me or find me on Facebook ... I know the answer ... all the answers :)

Lesson Learned: It's a freaking sand dune out here!

I have been thinking of this for a while, and now seems like a good time to say it: Losing weight and changing your life is FREAKING HARD!!! It's like climbing up a giant sand dune.  And not one of those wimpy little beach sand hills ... I'm talking the Sahara Mountains of Dunes.  The second you stop fighting you start sliding backward.  It sucks.  Big time.  And it gets REALLY discouraging.

Great Wall of China: 2011

However ...  and this is a true story: Last Fall (as I've mentioned before) I did the Beach Body Ultimate Reset.  Its a 21 Day Cleanse/Total Food Makeover.  You follow a very strict eating plan.  The first week you cut out all dairy and red meat, the last two weeks you switch to a vegetarian/vegan diet.  It's tough.  One of the hardest things I've EVER done.  So, my point is ... as I've talked to more people who have done the cleanse, I started to realize I am one of the only ones, if not the ONLY one (of the 20 or so I know who did it with me or after me) who stuck to the plan exactly.  No cheating.  Not one thing crossed my lips that wasn't on the food list.  I did it while my husband was gone for training and over my 34th birthday and STILL ... I followed the plan exactly.  But I realized why ... losing weight for me has already been FREAKING HARD!!! I've had to discipline myself in SO many new ways, and change SO many bad habits, that I was already ready to try something of this magnitude.  And ... Because life isn't fair. Loosing weight or maintaining weight for some people is easier.  It really is.  They don't need to be quite so disciplined.  They don't have to change everything about themselves to make it happen.  But I did.  I have slowly started changing EVERYTHING about myself.  And so in the end I guess I'm lucky.  I'm lucky I learned to do things that are difficult.  It's taught me perseverance and discipline and it has given me a crazy amount of will power.  It's like the scripture that says:

"I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them."

I say this with utmost humility of course ...

This is me, climbing the Great Wall of China with a 35 pound kid on my back ... I weighed about 270 at the time. If I can do THAT ... Well ... 

Success: My Story

I already posted this on my Facebook "Like" Page, but I wanted to Blog about it as well for those who haven't joined me on Facebook yet. I was looking through my iPhoto library today and found some of my old "before and after" photos. When they were put in order I realized just how awesome this journey has been so far. And I can't wait to see where this year will eld.

My goal is to reach 1000 likes for HalftheWomanIWas. I want to find people who need my story. I want to find that one person who needs someone to understand how hard it is and to convince them to NOT give up. Please PLEASE share my page with your family and friends. Help me find that person who has given up and just needs an extra push to know that they really CAN do it!

Check it:


March 2010


March 2012


May 2012


July 2012



October 2012


November 2012

Success: He misses me

My husband is one of those people who can pretty much eat the entire cheesecake factory and still look slim and awesome.  So getting him to switch our family eating habits to more healthy ones was tricky.  He did it ... but not with a smile on his face.  More of a subdued acceptance because he knew it was important to me.  And then I had him try Shakeology.  At first he was like, "eh, fine, only because you are making me." And then he started to like it.  Then he loved it.  Now he NEEDS it.  Then I took out all the easy access treats because I am a sugar junkie and I can't say no if it is around.  That was a sad day for my poor man.  Then I started adding more vegetarian meals to our weekly meal plan, and more fruits and vegetables to everything.  At first he was like "ugh, more veggies." And then he started to like it.  And then ... he left for a few weeks of training.  But he sent me a text about three days after he left and he said, "Man, the food here is horrible.  Not that I am super healthy but it is a big difference in food.  I miss Shakeology and the other healthy stuff you make me eat.  MRE's just do not feel right anymore, like I am putting inferior fuel in." HAH!! SUCESS!! I love you babe.  I love that you support me in all my crazy ideas, even if you are only doing it for me.  And I love even more that you are starting to love all my new crazy ideas :)

Confession: Food still has an emotional connection for me

It's true ... Food and I are still great friends.  I need it ... emotionally.  I realized this big time last fall when I did Beach Body's Ultimate Reset.  It's a 21 day total food reset, or cleanse, and I did it over my birthday.  I tried for a really long time to think of something fun to do on my birthday since my husband was gone and some friends offered to watch my kids so I could do something awesome ... and I couldn't think of a singe thing to do.  If I went to the beach or hiking I would have got too hungry and Salad was all I could have for lunch.  If I went to the movies water was all I could get and the smell of pop corn would have been torture.  A drive to the North Shore just didn't sound fun at all without being able to stop at our favorite grill for shrimp or a burger.  I NEED food.  I need it.  I had no idea how much until that moment.

But ... my emotional connection to food is definitely getting healthier.  Fruit and yogurt can take the place of ice cream most nights.  Veggies and Hummus instead of chips.  Chocolate Shakeology for the chocolate cravings.  But sometimes, when exercise, water and Shakeology just aren't enough ... I still make brownies.  And they are delicious.  And they make me feel better.  They really do.  So as long as I don't eat the whole pan of brownies ... I'm going to continue baking brownies to make me feel better.  Indulgence ... but under-control-indulgence.  Mmmmm.  Brownies.

Success: I climbed a mountain

Yesterday I woke up early and go my workout in (P90X Arms and Shoulders and Ab Ripper X, one of my absolute favorites) then rushed to get two of my kids ready for school and out the door because I was headed out for a Mommy Play Date.  I brought my friend's little girl and my 3 year old and we met up with some other moms to hike up to a small lighthouse on the top of a cliff.  It was hot but so much fun.  I carried one kid on my back and pushed the other in the stroller.  Then on the way down I added an extra kid to the stroller making it about 100 pounds I was holding as we cruised down the hill.  And it was easy.  It was fun.  I had an amazing time.  Sure when I see the picture of all us moms that went I think "one of these things is not like the other, one of these things is not quite the same ..."

But who cares? I rocked that hike.  I'm freaking strong.  I'm healthy.  I love my life.  And that's why I'm a Beach Body Coach.  Because I want everyone to know it's possible. You can be healthy.  You can be strong.  You can love your life.  It doesn't matter where you are now or where you have been ... it only matters what you do today, and tomorrow, and the next day and the next.  Keep on keepin' on, one day at a time.

Success: The 3 Phases

I HATE waking up in the morning.  Every morning.  It bites every single time.  It's easier when my husband is here and he wakes up with me, at least then I'm not alone in my misery.  So I've been working really hard on getting myself pumped in the morning about working out ... but still, I just couldn't get out of bed this morning.  Then at 5:40, ten minutes after my alarm went off when I was still trying to talk myself out of getting up, my friend texted me with a photo of herself, working out with Shaun T (Insanity and Hip Hop Abs crazy person ... I mean creator.)

That did it.  I also had a Shaun T workout to do and I knew I wouldn't be happy with myself if I put it off.  So up I got, and got myself all pumped to workout.  And then the actual workout hit.  Ouch.  The plyometric cardio circuit is a freaking killer.  And I hated the man who thought it up almost as much as I hated everyone else in the whole world who actually LIKES working out! Ugh! Gross!!

And then, once I was done and my breathing had returned to normal and sweat was literally dripping down my face ... the workout high hit me.  I was flying.  And I remembered ... I'M one of those people who loves working out.  ME.  I LOVE it.  I love feeling this way.

So the moral of the story is: 1) Find good friends who keep you accountable 2) Go ahead and hate working out while you're in pain because 3) You know the high is coming and THAT is the part you will love.  And also ... your new muscles.  You'll LOVE your new muscles :)

Phases 1,2, and 3

Clarification: Hold that thought ...

 I should also clarify ... It isn't my gusband who worries about how much weight I gain or lose at any given time.  I have the most amaing, supportive, loving, kind, thoughtful best friend of a husband.  In fact, I blame him almost entirely for my years of being so much more of a woman than I am now.  Because he made me feel beautiful.  I didn't feel any reason to change anything.  I changed because I WANTED to be more healthy.  That's it.  And he has supported me through everything 100%.  This is probably why it hurts me so much when I know other men out there don't support their wives in the same way.  There is a better way to get the results you want.  It's a little something I like to call "the right way." Love her.  Love your wife.  That's it.  That's all you need to do.  Make her feel important, loved and beautiful and she will become the woman of your dreams.

Okay ... once again ... I'll just stop ... I promised to keep these short :)

Side Note: If you can't say something nice ...

Today the greatest gift I can give the world ... Is to say nothing at all. I have so much I want to say, but I will save it for another day. Let me just say this; Pet Peeve = Man tells woman: "I'm worried you will get fat while I'm deployed"

Okay. I'm stopping.

Confession: Today ... I Cried

Confession.  I cried during my workout today.  And Not because my boys did this:

(Played in the mud outside then washed it off in the sink and got muddy water everywhere. And I mean Everywhere.)

And Not because the Insanity workout I was doing was too hard and I wanted to quit and it made me want to puke.  I cried because about half way through the work out I thought: Holy *potty word* I can do this!

It turns out I'm a lot freaking stronger than I thought I was.  And I cried.  I cried because I COULD do it.  I cried because I weigh over 200 pounds and I can do a crazy amount of actual push-ups.  Not girl push-ups.  Real freaking push-ups.  And I can do Insanity.  I AM strong enough. I can jump high enough and sprint fast enough.  Who knew?? I sure didn't.  But watch out world ... I know it Now!

Side Note: Keep it accessible, visible and healthy

One new thing I've been trying ... Keep healthy snacks where they are accessible, visible, and ready to eat. If we want a less healthy treat, we make it (cookies, brownies, etc.) so I can make it "healthy-er." And it's less accessible. My kids have eaten a lot more fruits, veggies, yogurt, nuts and cheese lately, (and consequently, so have I.) I stopped keeping candy and chips for special treats because they were too freaking easy to grab and eat. I was losing the battle every time with both my kids and myself.

Lesson Learned

Lesson learned: Never complain about waking up at 5:30 every morning to workout, or your son will start waking up at 5:12 every morning because he's hungry just so the Universe can prove a point ... It can always be worse. Well played Universe. Lesson Learned. See? This is me super happy to be away at 5:30 and working out!! Do you hear me Universe? I LOVE WAKING UP AT 5:30!!

Sometimes you have to drop everything

There are a couple of really good reasons I force myself to get out of bed every single morning at 5:30 so I can work out; 1: It's the only way I can workout with my man, and 2: So on the extremely rare occasion my husband unexpectedly gets home early from work, I'm ready to drop everything and do something with the family. If I wouldn't have woke up so early, worked out, and got my daily task list done before noon, there is no way we could have made it to the zoo this afternoon. And I have to say, it's worth it. It's So worth it. With a husband who is in the military and is gone about 9 months out of every year, every single family moment is worth all the pain of dragging myself out of bed so freaking early. It just is.

Lesson Learned: Sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do.

I say it to my kids all the time.  All day I hear "I don't WANT to do my homework!" "I hate cleaning my room!" "I don't want to go to school!" "I don't want to share!" And I respond with "Well, guess what ... in life, sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do.  That's just the way it is."  Turns out ... it's true for adults as well.  As much as I want to eat chocolate instead of drink a liter of water every time I get a craving, there are somethings you just have to do, even if you don't want to.  If you want to make changes in your life, REAL changes, sometimes you ... say it with me ... Have To Do Things You Don't Want To Do.

But ... here's the good news.  If you do those things enough, some day, you won't mind doing them anymore.  It will become a habit.  It will be something you don't have to think about so much.

For example: when I started my first Beach Body Challenge Group, I didn't want to work out every day.  I REALLY didn't want to do it.  I didn't even WANT to want to workout every day.  I had to force myself to work out every single time, six days a week, for two months. Every. Single. Day.  And then one day I realized, I didn't mind it so much.  In fact, I actually Liked working out. Now, I look forward to it.  I need it.  It's just a part of who I am.

So sometimes you just have to do things you don't want to do. Period.

Success: My 4 year old ASKED for salad at dinner. And then seconds.  And then thirds.  And ... he ate his Bisque!

You would have to know my son to know how amazing this is.  Picture the pickiest eater you know then times that by 7.  And the best part was he got his younger brother to eat all his dinner as well!  Here is the amazing Roasted Red Pepper Sweet Potato Bisque for those who are in need of an amazing new Vegetarian meal idea.

Roast Peppers on 400, turning every 10 minutes until entirely blackened.

Cube 2 Sweet Potatoes and boil until soft.

Peel and Shred Ginger to get 2 Tbs. fresh ginger.

Add everything together with 1 can Broth and 2 tsp. Miso Paste (Optional) in a blender and puree. Salt to taste.

De-Freaking-Licious.

This one I didn't come up with on my own.  It was part of a 21 day Reset I did in October.  Check out the link if you want to know more about it!!!

Ultimate Reset

Confession:  I'm Terrified.

My biggest fear of putting myself "out there" like this, including all the ups and downs of my journey ... is of course that I'll fail.  Now I CAN'T fail ... too many people are watching me.   And honestly ... Thank you.  Thank you for not letting me fail.

Today was our first day of working Insanity into my regular P90X early morning workout routine.  I really thought I was getting Fit until I tried to do Insanity with my husband.  Yikes.  There is still so much room for improvement.  And honestly, getting up enough energy and motivation to kill myself in a sweat-fest at 5:30 in the morning.  Yeah.  Suck-O.  BUT ... by the time we were finished and I was soaked in sweat ... I felt absolutely amazing.  I love getting up, working out, showering, getting dressed and all done up for the day, fixing breakfast and lunch for my kids and getting them out the door all before 8:30 a.m.  The old me would be lucky to be out of my pajamas by noon.  Not any more.  It's amazing how much more you can accomplish when you get a kick start in the morning.  I can't believe I'm admitting that.  I SWORE I would never be one of those people who 1: woke up early to workout and 2: actually enjoyed it.  So much for staying strong to who I swore I was.

Hooray for my own personal kick in the pants!

Welcome to my world

My goal in blogging is to keep it brief. If you can't read my posts while waiting in the carpool pick up line after school or while waiting for water to boil while you fix dinner ... Then it's too long.

Each post will consist of only 1 out of 4 different subjects.

1. Confessions

2. Lessons Learned

3. Successes

4. Side Notes

That's it. It will be simple and include a lot of pictures for effect. And that's all for today. Peace Out.

I've done it now.  I'm putting my journey out there for the whole world to see.  Am I scared? Yes.  Am I intimidated. Yes.  Am I excited? Absolutely.  

Just over three years ago I gave birth to my third baby.  I weighed 299 pounds.  Nope ... not a type-o.  I struggled for two years to lose weight and get my life and my body back.  I was frustrated.  I was angry.  I was tired of hearing people tell me I was fat.  Then I found the "Magic Pill."  It's called: Sweat, pain, hard work and consistency.  Beach Body made it all possible.  So far I have lost just over 75 pounds.  I'm about half way to my goal of becoming Half the Woman I was.  This Blog is my Journey.  My ups and down.  My heartaches.  My frustrations.  My accountability.  My successes.

Comments are hoped for.  Suggestions welcome.  And most importantly, I hope someone will find my blog ... someone who was just as frustrated as I was.  Someone who feels angry at the world.  Someone who has completely given up.  Someone like me.

Before

After